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CHA-CHUNG!
The Saga of the Missing Pants and
the Judge Who Pined Over Them
The Saga of the Missing Pants and
the Judge Who Pined Over Them
By Dave Weinbaum
Growing up In the Midwestern town of Skokie , ILL., I had a pair of lucky socks. They
were normal every day socks, until something unusual happened when I wore
them over a period of time.
I could do little or no wrong with these socks. At age 13 I was on the luckiest streak
of my life. My teams won. I got hits, scored goals. My grades improved. The
prettiest girl in school looked into my eyes and smiled.
The dirtier and smellier they got, the cooler my life became.
One day, I couldn’t find my pair of lucky footsies. I grew anxious, sweated
profusely, and had a tummy ache. My mind dizzied itself with suicidal panic.
Then Mom ‘fessed up.
She told me those sox were so worn she was scared our neighbors would think we
were poor. She said, “We’re a no holes new socks family! They’ll throw us out of
town!”
I had to remind Mom that some of my buddies in the hood wore torn, ancient pass
me downs, and their parents felt the money saved was a lot more important than
what SHE thought about them.
After whacking me and sending me to my room, I felt emotional distress,
discriminated upon because of my gender, tender age, and size. I was sure my life
was ruined.
Those sox had value.
What choice did I have?!
I sued my Mom for her unauthorized disposal of my pair of stinky, holy socks. The
damages sought? $64 million! Knowing full well that my dollar a week allowance
wouldn’t buy much legal advice, I served as my own lawyer.
It didn’t get to court.
We settled.
She bought me a new pair of socks and replicated the holes from her memory of
the zillions of times she washed them. Plus she took me to McDonald’s and
treated me to a fish sandwich, fries and a vanilla shake.
Making money is easy, if you have the ink and paper.
DC Judge Roy Pearson must have somehow got a hold of the pleadings from my
45 year old sox case. Serving as his own lawyer, he brought suit against those that
lost his trousers to DC Superior Court. Hey, you’ve got to give him credit for some
pretty thorough research. Plus, just not to look like a copycat, he sued for $65
million, one mill more than my damages.
The perps? A Korean American family that owns and operates a dry cleaner in
DC.
For us small business owners, this kind of abuse is always looming in our
future…and past. How many of these frivolous fraudulent attacks can we survive?
Will we lose or be unable to get insurance? How do we pay the lawyers needed to
defend us, as well as our bank loans, rent, wages, health insurance, etc., etc?
Should we settle just to mitigate our costs and risks, even though there’s no way
we should lose? Will we need to declare bankruptcy?
Thankfully, after careful consideration, fellow DC Judge Bartnoff ruled against
Judge Pearson and for the cleaners. She also directed Judge Pearson to pay court
costs and the Chung’s legal fees.
Still, the collection of these funds from an imbecilic and cash strapped Judge
Pearson will be iffy at best.
The Chungs are still at peril. Plus who pays for the Chung’s lost business and
anxiety caused by this exploitation?
When Judge Pearson gets fitted for some new pants, he ought to try on a muzzle,
too.
The average American can’t afford the legal system
When are we going to get some common sense in our legal system? Judges
need to quit wasting OUR time and OUR tax dollars with idiotic law suits, court
hours that could be used to clear the dockets of legitimate beefs.
There is the Rule Eleven that’s supposed to take fraudulent suits down to a
reasonable phenom, but judges have shown reluctance in using it…maybe
because they are lawyers that pulled and got away with the same scam as Pearson
tried.
The solution?
Go Euro style. Losers pay all court and legal fees on BOTH sides. I’m told that
continent carries a third to half less suits per capita as the USA .
Under THAT system, we can say one thing to those that are determined to flood our
courts with fraudulent extortion suits.
KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF
Growing up In the Midwestern town of Skokie , ILL., I had a pair of lucky socks. They
were normal every day socks, until something unusual happened when I wore
them over a period of time.
I could do little or no wrong with these socks. At age 13 I was on the luckiest streak
of my life. My teams won. I got hits, scored goals. My grades improved. The
prettiest girl in school looked into my eyes and smiled.
The dirtier and smellier they got, the cooler my life became.
One day, I couldn’t find my pair of lucky footsies. I grew anxious, sweated
profusely, and had a tummy ache. My mind dizzied itself with suicidal panic.
Then Mom ‘fessed up.
She told me those sox were so worn she was scared our neighbors would think we
were poor. She said, “We’re a no holes new socks family! They’ll throw us out of
town!”
I had to remind Mom that some of my buddies in the hood wore torn, ancient pass
me downs, and their parents felt the money saved was a lot more important than
what SHE thought about them.
After whacking me and sending me to my room, I felt emotional distress,
discriminated upon because of my gender, tender age, and size. I was sure my life
was ruined.
Those sox had value.
What choice did I have?!
I sued my Mom for her unauthorized disposal of my pair of stinky, holy socks. The
damages sought? $64 million! Knowing full well that my dollar a week allowance
wouldn’t buy much legal advice, I served as my own lawyer.
It didn’t get to court.
We settled.
She bought me a new pair of socks and replicated the holes from her memory of
the zillions of times she washed them. Plus she took me to McDonald’s and
treated me to a fish sandwich, fries and a vanilla shake.
Making money is easy, if you have the ink and paper.
DC Judge Roy Pearson must have somehow got a hold of the pleadings from my
45 year old sox case. Serving as his own lawyer, he brought suit against those that
lost his trousers to DC Superior Court. Hey, you’ve got to give him credit for some
pretty thorough research. Plus, just not to look like a copycat, he sued for $65
million, one mill more than my damages.
The perps? A Korean American family that owns and operates a dry cleaner in
DC.
For us small business owners, this kind of abuse is always looming in our
future…and past. How many of these frivolous fraudulent attacks can we survive?
Will we lose or be unable to get insurance? How do we pay the lawyers needed to
defend us, as well as our bank loans, rent, wages, health insurance, etc., etc?
Should we settle just to mitigate our costs and risks, even though there’s no way
we should lose? Will we need to declare bankruptcy?
Thankfully, after careful consideration, fellow DC Judge Bartnoff ruled against
Judge Pearson and for the cleaners. She also directed Judge Pearson to pay court
costs and the Chung’s legal fees.
Still, the collection of these funds from an imbecilic and cash strapped Judge
Pearson will be iffy at best.
The Chungs are still at peril. Plus who pays for the Chung’s lost business and
anxiety caused by this exploitation?
When Judge Pearson gets fitted for some new pants, he ought to try on a muzzle,
too.
The average American can’t afford the legal system
When are we going to get some common sense in our legal system? Judges
need to quit wasting OUR time and OUR tax dollars with idiotic law suits, court
hours that could be used to clear the dockets of legitimate beefs.
There is the Rule Eleven that’s supposed to take fraudulent suits down to a
reasonable phenom, but judges have shown reluctance in using it…maybe
because they are lawyers that pulled and got away with the same scam as Pearson
tried.
The solution?
Go Euro style. Losers pay all court and legal fees on BOTH sides. I’m told that
continent carries a third to half less suits per capita as the USA .
Under THAT system, we can say one thing to those that are determined to flood our
courts with fraudulent extortion suits.
KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF