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Hillary Needs a Campaign Song...and a
Hug
Hug
by Dave Weinbaum
As I was shedding tears for Hillary’s victimization the last several weeks, I became
concerned about her future. Democratic male pigs from candidates to press are
picking on the poor gal. Now her staff, clearly on their own, has planted more
questions than Iowans seed corn.
This is not the way to treat a United States Senator, especially a feminine one.
Crying myself to sleep…because I care…I awoke with a bulb exploding in my
head…or a hangover. Sometimes I can’t tell the difference. But the idea survived
the pulsing headache.
I believe this could be Hillary Clinton’s salvation.
Forget coming up with tough positions on healthcare, tax raising, social security, tax
raising, bimbo control, raising taxes, the Iraqi position du jour, tax raising.
Did I mention raising taxes?
When the Deltas from “Animal House” got into a predicament like this there was
only one thing to do: ROADTRIP! However, since all campaigns are one big “road
trip”, something that helped her husband get elected is in order.
Fleetwood Mac’s”Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow” just may have been the
distraction that turned voters from Bill’s cheatin’ ways to president erect...I mean
elect.
Hillary, the first woman presidential candidate, needs her own song.
Because I want to help, I’ve taken the liberty of writing Mrs. Clinton a song, to the
tune of the Village People’s “In the Navy.” Hillary can only be proud that the origins
of this group come from New York ’s Greenwich Village in her newly adopted
“home” state.
And here it is. Hope Hil likes it. You KNOW how cantankerous she can get. Just
ask her friends like Dee Dee Myers and George Stephanopoulos. It’s called:
“In the White House”
Everybody, at the count of 3! 1-2-123…Macho Macho Man…Bill Clinton is a
Macho…Oops, That was Bubba’s suggestion. Hillary killed that one with hardly a
whimper from ex-Prez…
Once again to the tune of "In the Navy"…1-2-123!
When you’re feeling low and need a place to go
Bring you some artillery.
Look at terms that past and get up off your ass.
Come on and work for Hillary.
You can threaten writers stomp those webbing spiders,
Crush Limbaugh and Hannity.
Plant those easy questions to relieve the tensions
Of her royal candidacy.
You can share her pain at men while they disdain,
And Swifties claim conspiracy.
When she is inauged, constitution overhauled,
It’s goodbye democracy.
( Chorus)
In the WH for whom the country now depends.
In the WH where you can pardon all your friends.
In the WH where you can rent Lincoln ’s bedroom.
In the WH where you can make the world go boom.
In the WH with her husband locked in chains.
In the WH where no one dares complain
In the WH you can hide old law firm files
In the WH you can justify denials.
Now that’ll get her elected…but if it doesn’t, she could always sing the blues.
Bill, before you polish up that ole’ sax give your wife a hug.
Dave Weinbaum is a regular contributor of one-liners and commentaries to many
regional and national publications and Web sites, including the Reader's Digest,
National Enquirer, Forbes, and is a regular pundit for the prestigious www.
jewishworldreview.com . Readers can reach Dave at dwquote@prodigy.net.