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Posted Thursday, February 14, 2008, 2:30 AM
by Dave Weinbaum
One thing orthodox Jews and political conservatives have in
common is it’s tough to uphold the laws handed down by the
prophets.
In the case of the Bible-deprived, that would be what Moses
received from G-d on Mount Sinai in addition to the Ten
Commandments. Conservative standards have been handed
down from William F. Buckley and Barry Goldwater, and enhanced
by Ronald Reagan and Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter.
Since elRushbo hasn’t tried proselytizing Jews to my knowledge, I
will avoid hanging him by his anti-McCain petard.
However, that self-proclaimed apostle of all religions and
conservative principles, Ann Coulter, won’t get the same treatment
as I have a bone to pick with her. Just like our Iranian foe
Ahmadinejad (Ah’m Mad), she’s decided that the USA should
strive for a single religion.
Ann had taken it upon herself to pontificate conversion to CNBC
talk show host Donnie Deutsche while hawking one of her books.
Donnie happens to be Jewish. She preached he abandon his
religion, and convert to Christianity. She went on to explain that
Christians were “perfected Jews.” Donnie asked and asked
again, obviously startled and insulted by her attack on Judaism.
When Deutsche asked if he ought to ditch Judaism, she insisted
that he should.
Move over Mother Teresa
For thirty centuries Jews have prayed to the One and Only G-d.
Many, not all, have obeyed His laws.
Some would say that those laws are difficult to follow, especially
during the hustle and bustle of the present.
But thanks to Ann Coulter, our salvation is at hand.
Saint Coulter has proclaimed that all Jews need do to throw off
those ugly shackles G-d has encumbered them with is convert to
Christianity.
Yet the Bible says quite explicitly not to add or subtract a single
letter from the law, the very notion of following anyone claiming to
be a prophet (or progeny of G-d) and thereby annulling the law is
incompatible with Jewish tradition (see Deuteronomy 4:2 and 17:
8-13).
Some blonds should never forget their dark roots
Contrary to her contempt for those who follow the laws of
Judaism, Coulter is in a hissy fit because conservatives haven’t
lived up to HER stringent standards. They have chosen, shall we
say, less than “kosher” John McCain to carry the Republican flag
in elective combat. He’ll face the evil Clinton Twins or the
galactically-empty yet charismatic Barack.
Ann, a Romney supporter, laughingly poo pooed Mitt’s switch on
abortion from pro life to state sponsored fetus massacre, just to
get elected governor of Massachusetts. Wonder how many
babies Romney and Ann were complicit in destroying during his
gubernatorial tenure? Of course, Mitt conveniently converted back
to pro-life during his presidential run.
After Romney decided to save the rest of his fortune and drop out,
Coulter pledged not only to vote for the evil Clintons but cheerlead
for her (them).
One wonders if Coulter will try to hook up Bill with some cute
interns or cork bimbo eruptions as a new Clinton sycophant. After
all, if Hillary becomes president, she won’t have enough hours in
the day for that “other” full time job.
Nobody is indispensable, including myself
We all know John McCain isn’t pure, but he is jiggy on important
issues like the war on terror, the surge in Iraq, and the
maintenance of Bush’s tax cuts.
But imperative for conservatives, unlike Romney and Ann, McCain
never wavered on his pro-life stance.
So fly away to those fast-trackers Ann. I’m sure you’ll be happy
with your new dysfunctionals, the Clintons. You certainly won’t
have a lack of sins to forgive them for.
And don’t forget your impeachment threats of Senator McCain
should he be elected. Bill and Hillary can give you expert advice
on their experience.
I’m sure your loyalty and conservative principles will be welcome
there.
After all isn’t that what “perfected” conservatives are…Liberals?
Dave Weinbaum is a regular contributor of one-liners and
commentaries to many regional and national publications and
Web sites, including the Reader's Digest, National Enquirer,
Forbes, and is a regular pundit for the prestigious www.
jewishworldreview.com . Readers can reach Dave at
dwquote@prodigy.net.
by Dave Weinbaum
One thing orthodox Jews and political conservatives have in
common is it’s tough to uphold the laws handed down by the
prophets.
In the case of the Bible-deprived, that would be what Moses
received from G-d on Mount Sinai in addition to the Ten
Commandments. Conservative standards have been handed
down from William F. Buckley and Barry Goldwater, and enhanced
by Ronald Reagan and Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter.
Since elRushbo hasn’t tried proselytizing Jews to my knowledge, I
will avoid hanging him by his anti-McCain petard.
However, that self-proclaimed apostle of all religions and
conservative principles, Ann Coulter, won’t get the same treatment
as I have a bone to pick with her. Just like our Iranian foe
Ahmadinejad (Ah’m Mad), she’s decided that the USA should
strive for a single religion.
Ann had taken it upon herself to pontificate conversion to CNBC
talk show host Donnie Deutsche while hawking one of her books.
Donnie happens to be Jewish. She preached he abandon his
religion, and convert to Christianity. She went on to explain that
Christians were “perfected Jews.” Donnie asked and asked
again, obviously startled and insulted by her attack on Judaism.
When Deutsche asked if he ought to ditch Judaism, she insisted
that he should.
Move over Mother Teresa
For thirty centuries Jews have prayed to the One and Only G-d.
Many, not all, have obeyed His laws.
Some would say that those laws are difficult to follow, especially
during the hustle and bustle of the present.
But thanks to Ann Coulter, our salvation is at hand.
Saint Coulter has proclaimed that all Jews need do to throw off
those ugly shackles G-d has encumbered them with is convert to
Christianity.
Yet the Bible says quite explicitly not to add or subtract a single
letter from the law, the very notion of following anyone claiming to
be a prophet (or progeny of G-d) and thereby annulling the law is
incompatible with Jewish tradition (see Deuteronomy 4:2 and 17:
8-13).
Some blonds should never forget their dark roots
Contrary to her contempt for those who follow the laws of
Judaism, Coulter is in a hissy fit because conservatives haven’t
lived up to HER stringent standards. They have chosen, shall we
say, less than “kosher” John McCain to carry the Republican flag
in elective combat. He’ll face the evil Clinton Twins or the
galactically-empty yet charismatic Barack.
Ann, a Romney supporter, laughingly poo pooed Mitt’s switch on
abortion from pro life to state sponsored fetus massacre, just to
get elected governor of Massachusetts. Wonder how many
babies Romney and Ann were complicit in destroying during his
gubernatorial tenure? Of course, Mitt conveniently converted back
to pro-life during his presidential run.
After Romney decided to save the rest of his fortune and drop out,
Coulter pledged not only to vote for the evil Clintons but cheerlead
for her (them).
One wonders if Coulter will try to hook up Bill with some cute
interns or cork bimbo eruptions as a new Clinton sycophant. After
all, if Hillary becomes president, she won’t have enough hours in
the day for that “other” full time job.
Nobody is indispensable, including myself
We all know John McCain isn’t pure, but he is jiggy on important
issues like the war on terror, the surge in Iraq, and the
maintenance of Bush’s tax cuts.
But imperative for conservatives, unlike Romney and Ann, McCain
never wavered on his pro-life stance.
So fly away to those fast-trackers Ann. I’m sure you’ll be happy
with your new dysfunctionals, the Clintons. You certainly won’t
have a lack of sins to forgive them for.
And don’t forget your impeachment threats of Senator McCain
should he be elected. Bill and Hillary can give you expert advice
on their experience.
I’m sure your loyalty and conservative principles will be welcome
there.
After all isn’t that what “perfected” conservatives are…Liberals?
Dave Weinbaum is a regular contributor of one-liners and
commentaries to many regional and national publications and
Web sites, including the Reader's Digest, National Enquirer,
Forbes, and is a regular pundit for the prestigious www.
jewishworldreview.com . Readers can reach Dave at
dwquote@prodigy.net.
Are Liberals Perfected
Conservatives?
Conservatives?